Sometimes it is more difficult to believe in the power of possibility than at other times. So, when we have reminders, hold onto them!
What am I talking about? In my 7-Step PowerPlan to Success™ (you can download the free ebook here), the first Step is Self-Awareness – knowing who you are, and aren’t… what you’re likely to do, and what you probably won’t… what you like, and what you don’t. It’s about accepting your reality, and so Step #2 is Self-Acceptance. This isn’t about giving in or giving up, but about starting from where you are, not where you (or others) wish you were. New studies are showing that Self-Acceptance is fundamental to both happiness and, perhaps surprisingly, productivity. Making better choices that suit you, and planning realistically, helps minimize overwhelm, which then makes it easier to get things done.
Knowing… and accepting… yourself doesn’t mean you can’t change or improve. That’s why Step #3 is Belief in Possibility – that you always have a choice in the matter. You can’t always control a situation, but how you choose to react can change your life (and often the lives of others, as have those people who began movements or charities after being affected by negative events in their personal lives).
But I’m writing this to talk about the inner power we have that is sooo easy to overlook. Sometimes we’re reminded, and that helps. Today I had an old post of mine pop up on Facebook. It was about an event that happened three years ago, and I’m thankful for the reminder that I have the inner power to do things that I may not intellectually or emotionally believe possible.
I was at an energy workshop. The presenter was Dr. Gene Ang, a Yale-trained neurobiologist. He spoke about the power we have to heal, ourselves and others. To prove that our minds (and spirit) can do things that science would scoff at, we were all given heavy-weight metal utensils (forks and spoons). He walked us through an exercise that ended with being able to bend these thick and solid utensils with thought and energy, not strength. Of course we tried to bend them in every way (including using double fisted grip strength) before the exercise, with no success (ok, no WWE members in the group).
Then we did the energy exercise, and those spoons started bending – I mean really bending. It wasn’t our physical strength that did it, but our focus and will, channeling stronger forces as we loosely held these store-bought utensils by their handles. I admit – I was totally frustrated, being one of the last non-benders in the room. I let out a healthy expletive, directed towards my recalcitrant spoon, and let go of trying. The spoon immediately ‘softened’ in my hand and bent totally in half (see the picture – it’s a cell photo of my handiwork). Wow!
So when you’re running low on positive possibility, remember the spoons – change is within you! Apparently, the Universe wants us to succeed, when we’re really clear about what we want, and willing to put in targeted effort.
I especially like this spoon story at this time of year, bringing the focus from shopping and stress back to miracles and possibility.
Wishing you a wonderful Holiday Season!
As a productivity and organization coach, I emphasize that the most important concept for being productive is CLARITY. What – exactly – am I going to do, how and when am I going to do it?
Since time is limited and the things we plan usually take longer to complete than we anticipate, setting PRIORITIES is critical, or we’ll never feel truly successful – there’s always something else we ‘should’ have accomplished.
Sometimes, the Big Picture is just too big! When we begin thinking about everything, it’s easy to feel anxious (and go into avoidance mode). But when we set aside planning time to decide our key goals and prioritize them, we gain direction and lessen anxiety. This also helps us to be more realistic about what can truly be accomplished in a given time period.
So ask yourself, “What are my PRIORITIES – for today (now), this week or next (soon), in the near future (later) or for now, (whenever).” Priorities change; some get moved up, some pushed back and others deleted, so a weekly Planning/Review Session is helpful. This can be with yourself, but also with your spouse or partner for family and home matters, or with your boss or staff for work-related issues.
Without clarity, which requires prioritization, we’re in that state of confusion or overwhelm that holds us back from doing anything completely or efficiently. With clarity, knowing our priorities, we can more easily put on those blinders to block out distractions, whether external or internal. (A good reason to keep your Parking Lot list handy, so when those distracting ideas, should-do’s, etc. pop up and potentially take you off-task, you can capture, but not get caught up by them.) This clarity drives action and increases productivity.
Once we know what to do, it’s important to decide how we’ll get it done. That’s where project management becomes critical to success. Project management may sound complicated and overkill, but it is a simple way to make it easier to get even fairly simple jobs done.
Many to-do’s, including some that at first glance seem easy, may require a multitude of specific tasks. They are actually projects, not tasks! Even something as seemingly uncomplicated as ‘Clean your room’ can leave some people confused or even overwhelmed, which makes it a job likely to be avoided. Breaking it down into steps and writing down those steps helps make the job more do-able. Leave a space for adding a checkmark as it gets done!. If you are giving chores to young children, use graphics in addition to words on the checklist. Verbally telling someone the items on a list is a recipe for failure, as is trying to remember every step. Most people, especially those with ADHD or Executive Function (EF) challenges, cannot retain much more than one or two steps in their short term memory.
Consider ‘Clean your room’ vs. having a checklist specifying: ‘Pick up any trash and discard it… Bring any dishes to the kitchen… Pick up your clothes and put the dirty ones in the hamper… Hang up or fold the clean ones… Put the comforter over your bed, etc. BTW, this is why many people get overwhelmed by the idea of decluttering; they lump everything together, making it totally challenging to do. We can only accomplish one task at a time, and the smaller, the better!
That’s why project planning is so critical to success (as much as we may dislike the specificity that planning entails!). One minute of planning can save as much as 20-40 minutes of action – or inaction. So unless we take the planning time to spell out each of the individual tasks the project requires (tasks being single-focused actions that can more easily be accomplished in a single time block), and in what sequence we’ll ‘attack’ those tasks, we risk feeling overwhelmed.
And what happens when we’re overwhelmed? On the neurological level, our protective amygdala perceives it as a threat, kicks in and takes over from our rational frontal lobes/executive function brain. Instead of tackling our project, we’re more likely to go into the ‘fight, flight or freeze’ response where avoidance rules. Not very helpful for getting things done!
So the more specific we are about what we are going to do and when we plan to do it (clarity and priority), the more likely that we’ll successfully accomplish our goal.
A simple example of how clarity makes a difference: “I want to go to the gym on Wednesday” vs. “I’m going to the 11:15 Intro to Pilates class, so I’ll have to leave at 10:45.” Which statement is more likely to produce results?
Are you Insane?
Maybe, so isn’t it time to find new ways to solve old problems!
Einstein’s definition of Insanity:
Doing the same thing over and over
and expecting different results.
The answer then, for many of us, is yes, we are insane. We approach the same challenges with the same resolve, the same strategies, the same expectations, and are then disappointed when we achieve the same lack of progress. We keep thinking the results will be different because we want them to be.
When they aren’t, we wonder, “What’s wrong with me?” We feel like we’ve drunk a powerful cocktail of negative emotions that might include despair, embarrassment, anxiety and even anger.
What’s missing here? Often, it’s an honest, objective acceptance that you’re stuck in an unproductive pattern. Just because you know what you want to do doesn’t mean you’ll do it. (After all, ADHD is not a disorder of not knowing what to do, but of doing what we know.) Just because the systems, tools or strategies you’re using work for others doesn’t mean they’re right for you. Just because something worked in the past doesn’t mean it will keep working.
Think outside of the box. People are different, especially those with ADD/ADHD or executive function challenges. A conventional approach may not register with your brain.
You may lack a basic skill that others acquired by osmosis, so they never had to consciously work at it. I see this a lot when it comes to organizational strategies.
Some people seem to be born with the instinct and ability to keep order, create systems and maintain them. Certainly, most of my professional organizer colleagues are that way. Most of my clients are not. BTW, these gaps and challenges have nothing to do with intelligence.Others can design great systems, whether for organizing their closet, files, projects or schedule, but fail to maintain those systems, which requires a combination of planning and time management. That’s something I struggle with. It’s amazing how quickly order can deteriorate.
- Some of the issues people struggle with at work or at home include organization, time management, juggling multiple priorities, getting started/activation/procrastination, staying on track and task completion.
- Some concerns are interpersonal, affecting relationships and communications.
- Others have to do with self-care – balancing work/home/self, making time for sleep and rejuvenation, exercise, healthy eating or learning to self-regulate addictive tendencies like email or social media, shopping, drugs, alcohol, gambling, overeating, etc.
But you CAN stop the insanity! Find new ways to approach old problems.
Here’s how you would apply my 7-Step PowerPlan to Success™ to help change your approach and get you unstuck.
Start with Step #1, Self-Awareness
Try to identify WHAT isn’t working. Be as specific as you can – you can’t fix what you don’t know is broken. Sometimes this is easier said than done. We may need help to understand what we could be doing better, so consider talking with a non-judgmental person who knows you, or work with a coach trained to help move you forward.
Move on to Step #2, Self-Acceptance
Accept that something isn’t working, despite your efforts, and that there’s nothing wrong with you – you just need different tools and strategies to get different results.
That’s where Step #3, Belief in Possibility – That You Always Have a Choice comes in. Allow yourself to believe that you could do some things differently, and so have different results. You can stop the insanity!
On to Step #4, Set Your Goals and Prioritize Them
Remember that we got specific in Step #1? Now set specific goals for improvement and decide which ones are priorities. It helps when you focus on only a few changes at a time.
In Step #5, Strategize for Success, decide what NEW approaches you’ll try, whether mindset, tools or compensatory strategies. If you’re at a loss as to what else to do, work with someone who can offer suggestions based on experience, like a colleague you trust, a friend, family member, consultant, organizer, therapist or coach. But remember that you are unique, and whatever you try has to make sense – and be ‘do-able’ for you. The ‘best’ method is often not the right one, as it may not be sustainable over time.
Now it’s time for Step #6, Take Action. Thinking and planning are important, but putting your ideas into practice is what creates change. Too often we get stuck in the “think, think, think, don’t act” mentality.
Expect some success, but don’t expect anything to work perfectly! If you do, at the first sign of failure you’re more likely to give up. That’s why, back in Step #5, Strategize, you want to create an entire toolbox of ideas.
Step #7, Evaluate, is when, after you’ve given yourself some time to implement them, you determine how well your new strategies are working. If necessary, go back to Step #1 to assess what is/isn’t working and why, then move forward through the Steps, tweaking them to become even more effective. If you expect a degree of failure, you’re not thrown when it happens, can accept that it’s just part of the improvement process and can keep moving forward.
Note: These Steps are from my 7-Step PowerPlan to Success™ Program for getting out of your own way and getting things done. You can download a free introductory guidebook here.
So change your problem-solving approach and STOP THE INSANITY!
- Want some help to change your unproductive patterns? Join my new Online Action Group – the TUIT Project for support to accomplish those important, but not urgent projects that seem so elusive to complete.
- Or contact me about individual coaching by phone or Skype. Schedule a convenient no-cost or obligation initial phone consult by clicking here.
Begin Your New Year with Resolutions that Have a Good Chance of Actually Working!!!
I’d love to hear what YOU plan to change for the New Year – share your intentions below!
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Written by Susan Lasky, Productivity, ADD/ADHD, Career & Organization Coach. Susan Lasky Productivity Solutions, www.SusanLasky.com. © 2016 Used with permission.