I was all set to write my next blog post. Great Idea. Gives me joy to share information and helps me to stay in business so I can keep helping clients. I had the time blocked on my calendar for today… but I don’t feel like it!
The funny/sad thing about “…But I don’t feel like it” – those six short words wield a mighty power, and it’s not for good. We think them frequently, or at least many of us do, yet they are the Destroyers of Productivity (and they don’t do much for self-esteem).
Today the conversation was about writing a blog, but it is a frequent flyer in my head. Here are some typical triggers that lead to this common refrain — I imagine they sound familiar to many of you.
I ought to go to the gym…
I should re-organize my closet…
I need to finish this…
I said I would…
It’s at the top of my ‘Action’ list…
…BUT I DON’T FEEL LIKE IT!
Just six words, but powerful enough to subvert our best intentions. The enemy of getting things done.
What to do?
I coach my clients on the benefits of reframing a ‘should… must… need to… or have to…’ into a ‘want to.’ Why? Because we’re all more inclined to do what we want. But even wanting to do something can lose traction when the ‘but I don’t feel like it’ button is pressed, and it gets pressed very easily – “I’m tired… I have too much to do…. I’m not sure how to… It’s too much work… I just don’t wanna!”
These are powerful feelings. Strong enough to triumph over our already-compromised executive functioning capabilities. So, too often, we don’t take action and our temporary emotions/avoidance tendencies get top billing.
I don’t like giving in. Sometimes, sure. Being self-indulgent can be comforting, and there are times when eating an ice cream sundae or taking a nap should take precedence over staying on a diet or doing the laundry. But other times it feels like the nefarious power of ‘I don’t wanna’ is in charge, and even my best plans are unwilling hostages. So, here’s how to fight back.
Start from your reality. Step #1 of my 7-Step PowerPlan to Success™(download for free from https://susanlasky.com) is Self-Awareness, which means acknowledging how you really feel. If you don’t feel like it, why deny the obvious? Step #2 is Self-Acceptance. You already know all those shoulds, oughts, musts, etc., and instead of fighting the way you feel or blaming yourself, accept your mood, so you’re not adding incendiary guilt to the challenge of taking action (…or not). Avoid the trap of SCDD – Self-Compassion Deficit Disorder!
Remind yourself that you have the powerof choice. Step #3 is to Believe in Possibility – that we always have a choice. It’s easy to forget this when caught up in the moment. Still, despite the way you feel (or think), you can find strategies to do things differently, thus producing different results.
You can take action despite your thoughts and feelings. There is a powerful concept in psychology, including Morita Therapy, the Japanese psychology of Action, that focuses on our ability to take action regardless of the thoughts and feelings that will always get in the way. The trick is to acknowledge them, including the powerful “I don’t feel like it,’ then choose to ignore them… they don’t have to be in control, even though they seem to be. Start small. If you are reluctant to go to the gym, put on your sneakers and have everything you need in a bag by the door. I’ve had clients report back that wearing sneakers ‘magically’ helped them start moving. Worth trying!
Keep that action simple and immediate. If I think about writing a blog, it can be overwhelming. Overwhelm, especially for people with challenged executive functions or ADHD, causes stress. Our brain perceives this stress as danger, triggering the ‘fight, flight or freeze’ response. While designed to protect us, once released, we’re even less likely to get anything accomplished. So, recognizing I’ve shifted into avoidance mode, my next move isn’t to force things but to do something that will minimize stress and help me get to work. Maybe I’ll just write a few buzz words (Iike I did when I started this blog by writing, “But I don’t feel like it…”). Maybe I’ll get inspired and continue, or perhaps I won’t, but I’ve done something!
Consider what is actually getting in the way. This may be a waste of time (we don’t know what we don’t know!), but occasionally there’s increased clarity that enables moving forward when you explore why “I don’t wanna.” The kneejerk response “But I don’t feel like it” may be a reaction to a concern that, when acknowledged, can be remedied. Perhaps your reluctance to do something might be because you aren’t sure how to get it done. Maybe you first need to do some research or create a Project sheet and break it down into small, do-able tasks. Maybe you need to ask for help. Or maybe you just have too many things to do and haven’t prioritized. Remember, The Two Magic Words for Productivity: Clarity and Priority. (This is the title of another blog post on my website.)
Look for the options. Sometimes, exploring what is really getting in the way gives options that boost action.
You might be reluctant to even begin straightening up your office because you think it will take most of the day. OK, how can you power up that action switch? Start by setting an alarm, then put on dance music and work for just 50 minutes. Who knows, you may even complete the job in that time, or at least make good progress.
Or maybe you don’t want to organize your very messy clothes closet. When you explore the ‘why’ it becomes clear that part of your avoidance is frustration due to a lack of space. So, the project shifts to reviewing your clothing with an eye towards donating. As organizing guru Barbara Hemphill says, “You can’t organize clutter.” First, declutter, then you’ll find it easier to organize.
Look for the motivators. What will encourage activation?
It is easier to spend time working on your closet if you have a friend hanging out offering encouragement (external motivation and redirection toward the goal).
It also helps to understand that people with ADHD are rarely driven by the common motivators of importance, consequences or rewards (unless they are immediate). But if something is interesting or novel, we’re more likely to WANT to pursue it. I know it’s easier for me to unload the dishwasher (boring and repetitive) if I make it a game to get it done quickly: Beat the TV Commercial. I recently discussed this concept with a client, and she decided the best way to clean her kitchen after dinner is to make having her favorite dessert dependent upon having a cleared counter and sink. The yummy dessert (an immediate reward) was enough of a motivator to make her want to do it.
So, how did I manage to write this blog, despite my immediate reaction of “But I don’t feel like it!”?
I started by acknowledging my reluctance, making a bargain with myself that I’d put in the effort for just 30 minutes. (Usually, once I begin, I easily keep going, but it takes a lot to turn on the ignition to activate my engine.)
I decided to switch my environment (a very helpful strategy). Many of my clients find they are more productive if they work in a coffee shop, library, or co-working space – even changing rooms can help. I chose to sit outside and enjoy a gorgeous day (studies show that being in nature has a way of resetting/ recharging the brain, so there’s another boost). Note: This blog was originally published during warm weather, pre-pandemic.
My small, portable bluetooth speaker played perfect background music at low volume from my playlist (for me, wearing earbuds or earphones would have made the music my primary brain focus and been distracting, rather than enhancing).
I filled a thermos cup with a tasty drink (self-care). No, it wasn’t wine – not a bad idea, but I was tired and would have drifted off target.
I took along my favorite pen and a pad with smooth, thick conducive-to-writing paper (sometimes writing by hand is more inspirational than keyboarding).
I set a clear intention and decided to put everything else on hold while I wrote. While I had my phone with me, I turned off alerts and kept it out of sight to avoid temptation. (Although yes, I still checked it periodically, sigh…)
I then began by writing those six powerful words, “…But I don’t feel like it.”
There are many ways to overcome these Six Powerful Words. Let’s continue this conversation with your comments on my blog, www.SusanLasky/i-dont-wanna. What are some ideas that work for you?
How ADD/ADHD Diagnostic Terminology (and Thinking) Has Changed
ADHD is NOT a new or made-up disorder, contrary to what the skeptics have been saying for the 25+ years that I’ve been an ADD coach, diagnosed ADDult and parent of a now-grown child with ADHD. So respond to the critics by showing them more than 240 years of ADHD history!
Let’s start with some clarity: ADHD refers to Attention-Deficit/ Hyperactivity Disorder. There are three primary subtypes, or presentations – Primarily Inattentive (often referred to as ADD), Primarily Hyperactive-Impulsive and Combined type. An individual can have symptoms that are mild, moderate or severe, and this may change over time or depending on the situation.
Current figures vary, but the CDC says that approximately 9-11% of school-aged children have been diagnosed with ADHD. It is estimated that 4-7% of adults have the disorder.While almost everyone experiences some of the symptoms some of the time, an actual diagnosis is based on several factors. For more on this see the CHADD Fact Sheet. For a free adult screener, go to www.SusanLasky.com/resources/ and scroll down to Free Evaluations & Screeners.
With so much attention on ADHD, there are those who say it doesn’t exist. So here is some historic perspective that will put to rest any thoughts that ADD/ADHD is a NEW or MADE-UP Disorder. (You may not like everything you read, but ADHD can be debilitating!)
1775 – Dr. Melchior Adam published the textbook Der Philosophische Arzt that contained a description of the inattentive and impulsive behaviors associated with ADHD. This is probably the first textbook ‘description’ of this syndrome. It is also notable for not focusing strictly on the hyperactive symptoms, where most emphasis has historically been placed.
“He studies his matters only superficially; his judgments are erroneous and he misconceives the worth of things because he does not spend enough time and patience to search a matter individually or by the piece with the adequate accuracy. Such people only hear half of everything; they memorize or inform only half of it or do it in a messy manner. According to a proverb, they generally know a little bit of all and nothing of the whole… They are mostly reckless, often copious considering imprudent projects, but they are also most inconstant in execution.”
BEST OF ALL: Dr. Adam’s treatment recommendations from over 240 years ago included massage and exercise!
Inconsistency is a major problem for people with ADHD – if they can do something sometimes, why not always? Although people with ADHD can be VERY detail oriented and focused, it isn’t always possible – especially when the subject isn’t of particular interest. (One of the main reasons people dispute this diagnosis is that, when interested, children and adults with ADHD can be attentive, to the point of hyperfocus, yet staying focused at other times can be very difficult. This isn’t intentional – it’s brain-based, frustrating and at the heart of this disorder.)
1798 – Sir Alexander Crichton, MD, published a book An Inquiry into the Nature and Origin of Mental Derangementwherein he said:
“In this disease of attention, if it can with propriety be called so, every impression seems to agitate the person, and gives him, or her, an unnatural degree of mental restlessness. People walking up and down the room, a slight noise in the same, the moving of a table, the shutting a door suddenly, a slight excess of heat or of cold, too much light, or too little light, all destroy constant attention in such patients, inasmuch as it is easily excited by every impression… they have a particular name for the state of their nerves, which is expressive enough of their feelings. They say they have the fidgets.” (p.272).
Dr. Crichton suggested that these children needed special educational intervention (in 1798!) and noted that it was obvious that they had a problem attending “even how hard they did try.”
“Every public teacher must have observed that there are many to whom the dryness and difficulties of the Latin and Greek grammars are so disgusting that neither the terrors of the rod, nor the indulgence of kind entreaty can cause them to give their attention to them.” (p.278).
I LOVE THIS – discussing the need for educational interventions more than 200 years ago!
1844 – Heinrich Hoffman was a progressive psychiatrist who rejected the common beliefs of his time that psychiatric patients were obsessed or criminal, and instead considered mental disorders as medical issues. He published an illustrated children’s book with a poem called ‘Fidgety Phil,’ a classic description of a hyperactive child. An 1847 edition of the book also had a story about “Johnny Look-in-the-Air,” about an inattentive child. WHY DO PEOPLE continue to insist that ADD/ADHD is a NEW disorder!?!
1902 – Sir George Frederick Still, MD (the father of British pediatrics) introduced the concept of a Defect of Moral Character during a series of lectures to the Royal College of Physicians in the U.K. on ‘some abnormal psychical conditions in children,’ published later that year in The Lancet.“There is a defect of moral consciousness which cannot be accounted for by any fault of the environment.” He described 43 children who had serious problems with sustained attention and self-regulation, who were often aggressive, defiant, resistant to discipline, excessively emotional or passionate, showed little inhibitory volition, had serious problems with sustained attention and could not learn from the consequences of their actions, though their intellect was normal. Describing a 6 year old boy:
“…with marked moral defect, was unable to keep his attention even to a game for more than a very short time, and as might be expected, the failure of attention was very noticeable at school, with the result that in some cases the child was backward in school attainments, although in manner and ordinary conversation he appeared as bright and intelligent as any child could be.
Dr. Still proposed a biological predisposition to this behavioral condition that was probably hereditary in some children and the result of pre- or postnatal injury in others.
Following the 1917-1928 Encephalitis lethargica worldwide outbreaks and the 1919-1920 Influenza pandemic, the behavioral symptoms in many surviving children led to the speculation that there is a causal relationship between brain damage and behavior. Children often became:
“… hyperactive, distractible, irritable, antisocial, destructive, unruly, and unmanageable in school. They frequently disturbed the whole class and were regarded as quarrelsome and impulsive, often leaving the school building during class time without permission.” (Ross and Ross 1976 p.15).
This was called Postencephalitic Behavior Disorder or the Brain-Injured Child Syndrome.
1932 – Drs. Franz Kramer and Hans Pollnow described a Hyperkinetic Disease of Infancy. The most distinguishing characteristic was daytime motor restlessness, unlike the postencephalitic motor drive that also affected sleep. They also noted:
“…distractibility by new and intensive stimuli, inability to concentrate on difficult tasks, refusing to answer questions and appearing not to listen when spoken to directly.”
Noting that symptoms, especially motor restlessness, decline in intensity by age 7, they called it Hyperkinesis of Childhood.
1937 – Psychiatrist Charles Bradley administered Benzedrine sulfate, an amphetamine, to “problem” children at the Emma Pendleton Bradley Home in Providence, Rhode Island, in an attempt to alleviate headaches. However, Bradley noticed an unexpected effect upon the behavior of the children: improved school performance, social interactions, and emotional responses.
“The most striking change in behavior occurred in the school activities of many of these patients. There appeared a definite ‘drive’ to accomplish as much as possible. Fifteen of the 30 children responded to Benzedrine by becoming distinctly subdued in their emotional responses. Clinically in all cases, this was an improvement from the social viewpoint.”
This was probably the first documented use of stimulants in children with ADHD behaviors. Although an inadvertent side effect of treatment or headaches, Dr Charles Bradley saw noticeable improvement in behavior.
1930’s and 1940’s – Further research supported the idea of a causal connection between brain damage and ‘deviant’ behavior, referred to as Minimal Brain Damage.
1956 – Although scientists could not identify the biological mechanism, Dr. Bradley’s Benzedrine experiments created a scientific model for further research on stimulant drugs to treat hyperactivity. In 1956, psychiatrists began to prescribe Ritalin (methylphenidate, or MPH), a stimulant drug similar to Benzedrine with known benefits for children’s behavior and few side effects. PROTESTS THAT MPH IS UNTESTED?After more than 60 years? It may not be right for everyone, but it HAS been vetted.
1957 – Studies by Laufer et al addressed the possibility that children with the Hyperkinetic Impulse Disordermay not have brain damage, but rather a functional disturbance of the brain. So the idea that every child presenting with abnormal behavior had Minimal Brain Damage was disputed. (Birth of the neuro-atypical brain concept?)
1963 – The Oxford International Study Group of Child Neurology held a conference and stated that brain damage should not be inferred from problematic behavior signs alone. They advocated for a shift to the term Minimal Brain Dysfunction.I KIND OF BUY INTO THIS ONE– or maybe just Minimal (or Variable) Brain Difference or the Neuro-Atypical Brain!
1968 – Considering the term Minimal Brain Dysfunction as too general and heterogeneous, the term Hyperkinetic Impulse Disorder evolved into the diagnostic term (as defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual published by the American Psychiatric Association) DSM-II: Hyperkinetic Reaction of Childhood– “The disorder is characterized by overactivity, restlessness, distractibility, and short attention span, especially in young children; the behavior usually diminishes by adolescence.” (1968, p.50)
1972 – Psychologist Virginia Douglas presented a paper to the Canadian Psychological Association, arguing that deficits in sustained attention and impulse control were more significant features of the disorder than hyperactivity, resulting in a change in the conceptualization of the Hyperkinetic Reaction of Childhood.
1980 – The disorder was given a new diagnostic label in DSM-III: Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), with or without Hyperactivity. The three separate symptom lists were for inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity, along with an explicit numerical cutoff score, specific guidelines for age of onset, duration of symptoms and a requirement of exclusion of other childhood psychiatric conditions. Note: This was a departure from the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-9) published by the World Health Organization, which continued to focus on hyperactivity as the primary indicator of the disorder.
1987 – The two subtypes were removed and the disorder was renamed, in DSM-IIIR: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), in an effort to further improve the criteria, in particular with respect to empirical validation (largely based on Russell Barkley’s concerns about qualitative similarities, or whether the two types had to be considered as two separate psychiatric disorders). The subtype “ADD without hyperactivity” was removed and assigned to a residual category named “undifferentiated ADD.”
1994 – Realizing that ADHD was not exclusively a childhood disorder, but a chronic, persistent disorder remaining into adulthood in many cases, and based on additional research, in DSM-IV: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)recognized the three subtypes of ADHD, along with the possibility of diagnosing a purely inattentive form of the disorder. The subtypes: Predominantly Inattentive Type, Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Type and Combined Type, with symptoms of both. It also accredited the diagnosis of ADHD in adulthood by including examples of workplace difficulties in the depiction of symptoms. Note: There was now more similarity between definitions of the diagnosis with the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-10), although the ICD-10 was more demanding about cross-situational pervasiveness of symptoms.
2000 – A text revision, DSM-IV –TR, did not change the definition of ADHD, but was more descriptive of the symptoms.
2013 – DSM-5: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) now distinguishes ADHD as a ‘Neurodevelopmental Disorder.’ It is truly no longer solely a disorder of childhood, but one that reflects brain developmental issues throughout the life span. (See factsheet.)
There are still 18 primary symptoms divided into two major groupings: inattention and hyperactivity/impulsivity.
The subtypes have been replaced with presentation specifiers that correlate to the prior subtype. Presentation can change over a lifespan.
New descriptions are more age-appropriate (a child might run about or climb, an adolescent or adult might feel restless).
The age of onset has been raised from age 7 to 12, and now multiple symptoms are required to be present in more than one setting (home, school, work, social). Note: Future DSM’s may include Adult Onset ADHD.
The required number of symptoms for ages 17+ is reduced from 6 to 5 in either the inattentive or hyperactive/impulsive categories.
The DSM-5 recognizes that ADHD and autism spectrum disorder may coexist.
So that’s it… for now. I still do not like the term ‘Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.’ I relate more to ones like ‘Attention Surplus Disorder’ (Ned Hallowell) or ‘Information Processing Disorder‘ (I’ve heard this from several people, initially from the psychiatrist William Koch), or even ‘Behavioral Inhibition Disorder’* (I believe Russell Barkley coined this term),
*This theoretical model links inhibition to 4 executive neuropsychological functions: (a) working memory, (b) self-regulation of affect-motivation-arousal, (c) internalization of speech, and (d) reconstitution (behavioral analysis and synthesis). Extended to ADHD, Barkley especially see deficits in behavioral inhibition, working memory, regulation of motivation, and motor control in those with ADHD.
I believe there is a greater difference between subtypes (indicators) that will ultimately result in several different diagnoses. Nor should the importance of Executive Function challenges in ADD/ADHD be underrated. Dr. Thomas E Brown has been instrumental in supporting the relevance of Executive Functions and Emotions in relation to ADHD.
The DSM-listed diagnostic symptoms are not comprehensive by any means. The symptoms now mention organization, which is often a major problem. Still, there isn’t enough awareness of time and energy-related challenges… transitions… time blips… activation/procrastination… completion… hyperfocus (which is why I’ve been writing this for hours and ignoring the other things, like sleep, that are essential)… short term memory issues and future-blindness… and the overwhelming ADD ‘fog’…
I’ve been working with ADHD issues since 1989, and as a Productivity & ADHD coach/ consultant, professional organizer, ADDult and mom of a now-grown son with ADHD, I see patterns, and they differ within the umbrella ‘ADHD diagnosis.’ For instance, I don’t see any diagnostic symptoms having to do with decision-making. Yet, in general, many people with ‘ADD’ tend to be less decisive than someone with ‘ADHD’ (although making the right decision is another story, especially when impulsivity is involved!).
My work with clients primarily focuses on developing compensatory strategies for Executive Function (EF) challenges, which can include planning, prioritization, activation, time and project management, organization, sustaining focus and effort, utilizing working memory, self-awareness and acceptance, etc. There are many people with ADHD who haven’t been diagnosed because they think of ADHD in terms of an 8-year old boy running around in circles and disturbing their classmates – not the quiet daydreamer, the academically hi-achieving Ph.D. or the successful entrepreneur.
So the saga of the ADD / ADHD diagnosis continues to develop. It is clearly NOT a new or ‘made-up’ disorder. The ADHD brain is neuro-atypical and does operate differently. While under certain circumstances this can be beneficial (just check out the vast number of entrepreneurs, inventors, creatives, athletes, politicians, professionals and celebrities who have it), there are definite challenges that negatively affect performance, judgment, relationships and self-esteem.
The more we know about ADHD, its history, impact and treatments, the better the lives of those who have it and those who teach, love, live or work with them.
There is often a collapse in our understanding when it comes to getting things done. We’re taught to believe that if we were really motivated, we would get started on that work project, organize the closet or declutter the entry. We’re told that if we really cared about our family’s health, we would consistently prepare tasty, nutritious meals. We tell ourselves that if we’re not exercising or finishing the online course we started, lack of willpower and poor self-image is to blame. If only we tried harder… Maybe, but not likely.
Activation, unlike motivation, is an executive function skill, also known as Initiation. That means it is brain-based in an area of our brain (the frontal lobes) that may not be as consistently high-performing as we’d like. Especially so for people with ADD / ADHD. This is the area of our brain that is largely responsible for things like organization, time management, prioritization and activation (the ability to get started on something). It is easily overwhelmed by too much to do, confusion as to how to do things, or the dread that comes when a project seems too big or boring to be easily accomplished.
That’s when the protective amygdala— the part of our brain that helps us to manage stress— steps in with its fight, flight or freeze response. So we go into avoidance mode. OK, this is an oversimplification, but it helps us to understand WHY we find that doing some things becomes so challenging that we continually procrastinate, even if we are motivated to get them done.
Just because we’ve decided to do something, doesn’t mean we will actually get it done – despite motivation by desire, rewards or dire consequences. This lack of ability to get going can be both frustrating and scary!Here are eight strategies to help you overcome overwhelm, minimize the avoidance factor, get activated and successfully accomplish your goals.
Stop Identifying Yourself by Failure.Procrastinator. Lack of willpower. Lazy. Unmotivated. Selfish. Inconsiderate. Untrustworthy. These are words that make me want to quit, not put in the effort needed to overcome a brain-based executive function challenge. So recognize that despite the widespread ‘Just do it’ mentality, it’s often necessary to find work-arounds. Let go of the negative self-talk. Accept that you’re having difficulty beginning a task, and instead of being self-critical and judgmental (which accomplishes nothing), be gentle with yourself. You may be anxious about the task, uncertain about how to get it done, uncomfortable about doing it (like calling a company to complain about something), or stuck because you might ‘do it wrong.’ Avoid paralysis by analysis. Often all that’s needed is that first step, which is what activation is about. Identifying what is getting in the way is part of the solution. It’s important to take action despite your feelings, but it helps to understand them. Studies show that you’re 50% more effective if you first get clarity as to why it’s tough to get going, than you’d be if you just push through and try to get it done.
Set Aside Planning Time and Action Time.They are not the same. Planning time is for deciding exactly WHAT you are going to do, and HOW you’ll get it done. It’s the time to determine your priorities and decide WHEN you’ll actually work on your tasks (your Action times). It’s the time to make DECISIONS, so they don’t hold up your progress once you start working. Sometimes we plan to do something without being realistic about how much available time we actually have (the ‘white space’ in our calendars). So when planning, take all of your time commitments into account. And don’t overplan. Activation takes effort, so leave space for recharging, along with time to deal with interruptions, unexpected tasks or spill-overs from tasks that take longer than planned. If you skip Planning time and go directly to Action time, it’s easy to lose focus on what is most important and spend that Action time pursuing any new bright and shiny object (or checking emails, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, etc.). If you haven’t planned very specific tasks for your Action time, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by all of the options when you are ready to work.
Use your Planning time to gain CLARITY. What are the specific tasks that will enable you to make progress towards your goal? A project is too big to ‘do’ in one sitting, so the thought of ‘doing’ an entire project is overwhelming, resulting in avoidance rather than clarity. It’s easier to activate when there’s something very specific to do, with no conflicting priorities and a set time for starting –and ending– your efforts. It’s the way you solve that proverbial question, “How do you eat an elephant?” (the project you tend to avoid because it’s just too big, scary or unappetizing). How? One bite at a time! Begin by breaking the project into do-able tasks, or individual bites that aren’t too painful to swallow. The smaller you make them, the easier they’ll fit into your busy schedule. Prioritize those tasks (what has to be done before you can move on to the next task?). WRITE DOWN THE STEPS! Then, when you are in Action time, put on your blinders to stay focused on the designated task.
Make the Task more Appealing. How can you turn a need-to, should-do or must-do into a want-to? Same task, different attitude. Even then activation may be difficult, but it’s easier when you see a positive reason for accomplishing a task (even if it’s just to get it over with so it no longer gives you angst!). How can you add a fun element to the task? Some ideas: Do it with a friend, working together or just in parallel play… get out of your home or office and work in a coffee shop or park… upgrade your writing tools with a special pen and appealing notebook… promise yourself a reward for getting the task accomplished (even if it’s just some guilt-free ‘me’ time)… make finishing the task a game… have a giant check-off list, etc. Or try one of my favorites: get to work on it to avoid doing a task that’s even less appealing! Remember the benefit. Write down what you will gain from finishing the task. Keeping the goal in mind can make the work that goes into accomplishing it less onerous.
Think Progress, not Perfection. It’s easier to eat the elephant (work on that task or project) when you feel like it, or when you’re really hungry (deadline anyone?). But that’s a less effective way of ensuring you successfully accomplish your business or personal goals than if you were to commit to taking small, palatable bites every day (consistent effort). Prioritize the bites and keep them small, triumphing over your perfectionistic avoidance tendencies. Consistent small bites get things done!
Take a Short Detour to Gain Momentum. Sitting and staring at a blank screen won’t get that blog written. First, try doing a tiny action, like writing one sentence. This small action will often get you over the inertia hump, so you can continue. But if you find yourself unable to initiate action, take a detour. Do something physical (energizes your body and your mind). Take a short nature break (relaxes the anxiety and provides a feeling of well-being you can take back to your desk). Call a positive friend and make plans to do something fun. Listen to music that energizes and helps you stay focused. Make sure you eat and drink (dehydration contributes to brain fog). If you take medication, check that you’ve taken it. If you need ten minutes of down time, take it – even if it’s to check your social media or email (be safe and set a STOP alarm!). Remind yourself of your commitment to get to your Action task, and then, refreshed, get back to work.
Be Aware of Transition Trauma. Sometimes it’s hard to stop one activity to begin another. Our brains just don’t want to make the switch. Be clear as to what you plan to do when. Write it on your Daily Action List. Put it in your calendar as a Task-Appointment. Use alarms to define your Action times and alert you that it’s time to begin (activate). Get up and move between activities so you can clear the Zombie-like focus, or hyperfocus, from a previous task (or from that computer solitaire marathon session).
Find an Accountability Partner. When someone else cares whether we’ve accomplished what we said we would, we’re more likely to get it done. This is often difficult when you work alone. Just as it’s easier to get to the gym when you go with a friend, it’s easier to get activated and work towards your goals when there are others who are supportive of your efforts and cheerleaders for overcoming your challenges. Share with a non-judgmental friend, join a mastermind group, consider the benefits of individual coaching, or join a group like my TUIT Project, which is designed to provide support and accountability. A new online group begins each month—visit OvercomeOverwhelm.com.
Also consider thebenefits of individual coaching. Contact Susan Lasky Productivity Solutions to discuss how coaching could help you move forward and have a less stressful, more fulfilling life. Susan is based in Westchester, but works virtually anywhere. She can be reached at 914-373-4787 or Susan@SusanLasky.com. You can schedule a convenient, no-cost or obligation Initial Consult at https://SusanLasky.AcuityScheduling.com.
Frustrated by the gap between knowing what you should/want/need to get done and the reality of what you are actually accomplishing? For many people, this is a chronic struggle – especially those with ADD/ADHD/EF (executive function) challenges, myself included! Even when we are at the top of our game there’s still a backlog that can approach critical mass. Do you wonder what the top of your game would be if you could be more Nike™-like and ‘Just Do It.’ Fortunately, there ARE strategies that help, and here are a few:
Begin with Clarity– Know exactly what you plan to do AND why you want to do it. Maybe it’s because you need to get something done, but by phrasing it as something you want (even if the reason is to keep your job, pass a course or stay on speaking terms with your partner), it becomes your CHOICE, and our motivational circuits work a lot better when we choose to do something. So convert your ‘have-to’s’ ‘must-do’s’ and ‘need-to’s’ to ‘WANT-TO’s.’
Confusion by Susan Lasky
Think ‘Task’ NOT ‘Project’ – Often, what we want to do is too big to accomplish in a single sitting, leading to a feeling of overwhelm. For many of us, overwhelm is a trigger to shutting down and doing less, rather than ‘attacking’ the project to successfully accomplish it. Our brain perceives the situation as threatening, and shifts into the protective ‘fight, flight or freeze’ mode, which doesn’t help with getting things done.
Avoid overwhelm by identifying the PROJECT (it might be to redo the files, create a newsletter, plan a vacation, organize the closet, write the thesis, ‘do’ the taxes). Whatever it is, break it down into the multiple small steps (TASKS) that are needed to complete the project.
The first task of any project is to create a written Project Sheet that specifies everything you’ll need to get it done, from resources needed (information, people, money, tools) to a step-by-step breakdown of each action, with approximations of the time you’ll need for each step – then double it (or more). Reinforce the steps by writing them down and saying them out loud. Keep the Project Sheet where you can easily refer back to it. (Think weekly and daily planning/review sessions, which take time but totally save you hours!)
Set a Conscious Intention (Commitment) – Once you are clear about WHAT you will do, decide WHEN you’ll get it done – PRIORITIZE. Put each step in your calendar or planner as a Task-Appointment, which is an appointment with yourself to work on a specific task at a specific time.
Saying ‘yes’ without saying ‘when’ is a typical precursor to not getting things done. Consider posting a reminder with the specific task you have prioritized, in a place that will draw your attention back to it when it begins to wander (and accept that it will wander!). You might want to expand your declared focus to prioritize an entire day or a week, “This week I will finish …” This doesn’t mean you won’t do other things, but it helps to swing you back to your key priority when your attention drifts or your interest wanes.
Make it Do-Able – It often helps to set a timer for a short amount of time so you don’t feel ‘trapped.’ It is easier to start something if you know you only have to stay focused on it for 20 minutes (or 15… or 10!). If you don’t complete the task within the time you’ve allotted, that’s okay. Congratulate yourself for having done what you said you would, then set additional Task-Appointments to finish what you’ve successfully begun. Take breaks between scheduled appointments. Some people find background music makes it easier to stay focused (volume and genre do matter!).
Minimize Distractions – Put on your blinders and resist temptation by making it less intrusive. Turn off email notifications, and even the phone if possible. Put a sign on your door that you will be available at 3:30 (or whenever), to minimize interruptions. Use a chalk or white board so visitors can leave messages. Give yourself permission to let go of the guilt from the other projects that need your attention, so you can successfully focus on one at a time. (I’m a brilliant multi-tasker, as long as I only work on one task at a time!)
We can’t quite turn off our brain (although a few minutes of mindful focus before you begin the work can help), so keep a ‘parking lot’ handy – a place to write down the thoughts that pop up and can compromise your focus. You don’t want to forget to make that call, send an email, pick up the dry cleaning, order a replacement phone charger, etc., and these are the things that will often pop into your mind while doing something else. You will think about it, so capture these thoughts in writing or tell it to Siri, OK Google, Alexa or your phone companion. Then you don’t need to shift your attention away from your project in order to remember to do it.
Start Small – When you are REALLY stuck, just open the notebook or computer file and look at the page or screen. Then put your pen to paper or fingers to keypad. They may start moving of their own volition. If not, commit to writing just one sentence, which often opens the gateway to moving forward. Or pull out a folder and skim the papers. Or make a list of what you think you should be doing. It’s the ACTIVATION that’s so difficult. Sometimes, all it takes is a minimal start to trigger our brains to become involved with something we’ve been avoiding. And remember how good it feels to get something done!
Take Breaks & Make Time for Self-Care – Avoid ‘overbooking.’ Often, less IS more. Leave ‘white space’ in your day. Especially when you have things to do in the evening or over the weekend. Leave time between Task-Appointments (if you work for 20 minutes, take a 5-10 minute break, then a longer break every two hours or so). Get up and MOVE (keeps the energy flowing). This is easy to forget when in hyper-focus mode, where we can work for hours on something because we are so caught up in it. Try to remember the law of diminishing returns (and ask yourself what is not getting done that is also important.
Take care of yourself! SELF-CARE is often the first thing to go when we feel there is too much to do.
Stop and Smell the Flowers by Susan Lasky
Yet self-care provides the physical AND mental energy to accomplish more. Think about it – how much more cognitively alert and productive are you after a good night’s SLEEP? Multiple studies are showing that our body and brain use sleep as a time to recharge, including eliminating toxins, so it isn’t, as many feel, a ‘necessary evil,’ but part of the productive process.
We know that EXERCISE boosts our body chemistry so we are more functional (and ofter a lot less ‘hyper’ or ‘antsy’). So fit some version of it into your schedule (again, less is often more if it means you’ll actually do it – sometimes our exercise goals may be somewhat unrealistic). DRINK a lot of water (hydrate). SNACK on fruit or have a protein shake. A quick NAP or MEDITATION can be super-restorative. Science is proving that time spent OUTSIDE in greenery can dramatically enhance our mood. (The Japanese even have a concept for this called ‘Forest Bathing.’) Yet when we feel ‘behind,’ as is so typical, we deny ourselves these self-care actions that boost our brain chemistry and pay us back with increased focus and productivity.
We NEED and DESERVE to ENJOY ourselves. Take a break to play with your kids or your dog (laughter totally energizes). Pet the cat and let the purring calm your brainwaves. Allow yourself time to garden, paint, create music or anything that comforts your soul. Have lunch with friends or make some private time with your partner, and you’ll usually get MORE done – and feel less deprived or annoyed by having to do the work in the first place!
Accountability Helps – Don’t try to go it alone. Report your progress to a non-judgmental accountability-partner, whether a friend, family member or coach, or consider joining an Accountability Group. (Check out my Get Around TUIT online action group at www.OvercomeOverwhelm.com)
Here’s an accountability strategy that is especially appealing to the tech-savvy. I ask some of my coaching clients to take a photo of their progress and text it to me. It might be a completed page in their planner, homework assignment or business plan, an organized desktop, newly labeled files or an emptied suitcase from last month’s trip – whatever supports their intention at the end of our last coaching session. If they said they would join a study group, go to the library or attend a networking event, I ask for an on-location ‘selfie.’ The photo is fun, helps them to feel more motivated and gives ‘instant’ feedback as to a job well done – not from me, but from their camera 🙂 It is a testament to their success! You can use this accountability strategy with yourself or a friend.
Commit to a Daily Action Plan, which is different than your 50-page ‘To-Do’ list. It has space for just your 3 primary actions and, if you finish those, 3 secondary activities. If you want to check out my Daily Focus form, you can download it here.
Be a Detective – The best strategies may not work for you, or may work for only a short time (so frustrating, but that’s reality). It is okay to acknowledge you are stuck. Maybe you need new tools, techniques or strategies, or just to tweak the ones you’ve been using. Perhaps you would benefit from a greater understanding of how to do something – a workable office requires an understanding of functional organization, and systems that work with the way YOU think – especially for those of us who are ‘out of sight, out of mind’ thinkers. Maybe you’ve been struggling with writing papers because you never really mastered the process from a technical perspective (organization, time and project management and keeping a check on perfectionism!). Perhaps you would benefit from a better system for managing your emails or running meetings.
So now, imagine that you’re solving your problem, but for a friend or colleague. When we take the emotional component out of the equation, it’s often easier to come up with a workable solution. Things can be different, but how to effect successful change? (Step #3 in my PowerPlan to Success: Believe in Possibility, and that you always have a Choice.) Sometimes we just don’t know what we don’t know, and help is needed.
You may benefit from hands-on advice, situational coaching, or exploring the underlying causes that create or compound your challenges. These can include emotional issues, physical problems, learning disabilities, and executive function or attention disorders that can get in the way of success (and here you wasted so much energy blaming yourself for lack of willpower!). Perhaps you struggle with perfectionism, are overly self-critical, feel the work you do isn’t ‘good enough,’ or subconsciously sabotage your success. Remember that it shows strength to work with a consultant, organizer, tutor, coach or therapist to get at the roots of these chronic challenges.
Be Kind to Yourself … Please!!! That’s the most important thing I can leave you with. Studies show that the more you accept yourself, the more productive – and happier – you’ll be!
I’m curious. What do YOU find helps to get things done?
The deadline for filing taxes is fast approaching. Many people have difficulty getting their financial records in order (if they can even find them!). This can be especially painful for those with ADHD or executive function challenges.
Be realistic. What is the likelihood that you will have your personal taxes ready to post or postmark by April 15th? (April 17th in 2017.) If it is slim, or predicated on wishful thinking, file for an extension now, to avoid penalties for late filing (you’ll still have to pay taxes and interest, so the sooner you file, the better).
Avoid avoidance. It is possible to overcome major avoidance, which is what keeps many people from getting their taxes done on time. For some of us, just the idea of finding and gathering all of the information feels overwhelming. And when something is overwhelming, we’ll do anything to avoid dealing with it (including putting it off despite the financial consequences). So accept that tax prep is a necessary evil, and make it easier by treating it as a PROJECT – not a task. A project consists of many tasks, and you can only do one at a time!
Begin by breaking down this project into various steps (the individual tasks). Some of these are itemized below. The idea is to focus on a single task at a time, so you aren’t overloaded by everything that needs doing.
Don’t say ‘YES’ unless you can say ‘WHEN.’ After you’ve decided what tasks you’ll need to do in order to finish your Tax Prep Project, decide when you’ll do them. Enter each task on your calendar, as a Task-Appointment, which is an appointment with yourself to do a specific thing at a specific time. This dramatically increases the likelihood that you’ll actually work on the task. It is easier to wrap your head and energy around beginning a specific task (activate!) then it is to think about accomplishing the entire project.
And if a task looks like it will take too long to complete in one appointment (given your attention span and other obligations), just work on it for a set amount of time. If you do that, you’ll have met your goal (even if the task itself isn’t finished). By doing what you planned, you’ll feel successful, and so more likely continue with other Task-Appointments and complete the project. Success breeds success.
The following steps will apply to most people:
Task #1Gather Papers. Begin by gathering the many financial papers you probably have in several different places, and put them in one location, even if you use the proverbial shoebox to hold everything! Don’t review them; don’t think about them. Just collect.
Task #2Sort into Categories. Sort the various papers you’ve gathered into categories (receipts, statements, tax reporting forms). Put them in separate folders (paper or poly project files) or just stack the papers, writing the category name on a blank paper kept on top of the pile. If you do your banking/investing/accounting by computer, set up a folder for the tax year, and include all relevant downloads.
Task #3Group your Deductions. If you itemize, group your family’s deductible receipts (medical, charitable contributions, childcare, education, business expenses, etc.). Note: You can request an annual statement from your local or mail order pharmacy that itemizes all medication expenses, so you don’t need to worry about keeping each receipt during the year. Obtaining this statement can be a separate Task (visit the pharmacy… make the call… or download the pharmacy record).
Task #4Review Banking Documents. Go through your checkbooks, bank and credit card statements for possible deductible expenses. Note: If you are reimbursed for a medical expense, it is not a deduction.
Task #5Determine if Anything is Missing. Are any reporting forms missing? (W2 or 1099’s, property or school taxes, mortgage interest, bank interest, investment records, stock dividends, etc.) You should have a list of what to look for from your accountant or tax preparer (many will send you a tax preparation document that you can just fill in with your information). If not, several are available online or through the IRS or free (legitimate) tax prep websites. If any critical reporting forms are missing, set a Task to contact the originator for a copy. Do this early enough to get the information before the filing deadline! Note: Accountants may have different requirements as to what documentation they need to do your taxes, so check in advance.
Task #6Tally the Results. Go through each category, list the details (whether using paper or computer) and add up the totals.
Task #7Make your IRA Contributions before April 15th, if you intend to deduct them for the prior year.
Task #8Complete the actual Tax Return Forms. Having everything organized isn’t enough – now it’s time to complete the actual tax returns, and submit them before the tax deadline. You can complete the forms yourself, use legitimate online tax software, or give your prep work to your accountant or tax preparer.
Take your Tax Prep Project a baby step, or task, at a time, and it will be easier to complete it without getting into a state of overwhelm or frustration. Hopefully you can do this in time to file by the due date, but if not, by or before the extension deadline.
Don’t ignore them – taxes DON’T just go away! Worse, the amount you’ll owe will increase if you don’t file on time. As a coach and organizer who mostly works with clients who have ADHD or executive function challenges, I’ve seen SO many who didn’t file taxes, even though they had the money to pay them or didn’t even owe money. Some were in dire trouble with the IRS. All because of overwhelm and avoidance!
Prepare now for a stress free next year. If you want next year to be less stressful, set up a system now, instead of scrambling next March. Use the category folders (Task #2) to file the appropriate papers as you receive them, so you’ll only have one place to look when it’s tax prep time. Consider keeping everything in a convenient magazine holder or file tray on or near your desk (the less effort you have to put into filing, the more likely you’ll be to do it). Some people prefer to scan each paper as it comes it in, so they don’t have to worry about storing/sorting papers.
If organizing for tax preparation is a challenge, work with someone to set up a simple system for managing your financial papers. It is worth the investment to hire a professional, given the possible penalties and interest due to late filings, the potential savings from having a clear record of all deductible items and from spending less time (and money) with your accountant and, perhaps most important, the reduced stress and improved comfort level you’ll experience. Find a local organizer who specializes in these systems at the National Association of Professional Organizers, www.napo.net or the American Association of Daily Money Managers, http://www.aadmm.com/findDMM.php.
